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  Rhode Island, United States

Interests: 1/25 and 1/35 armor & dioramas
Username: Monte

  



About Monte
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, write award-winning operas, and manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer, I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I levitate, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. Oh yeah, I also like to build models.

My Forum Posts (833) [ Topics Started ]

My Gallery Photos (22)

My Workbench Photos    [ MORE ]


My Awards


Die Bundeswehr: This person completed there tour of duty during Die Bundeswehr campaign
DOG: This award signifies the person completed the build a dog campaign.
Greatest Ever Modern Tank Award: Upon completion of this campaign, you will be decorated with Armorama's Greatest Ever Award. This award is given to the selected few that has shown dedication and effort in completing a campaign that is dedicated to the greatest ever tanks that are in active duty today.
Meow Campaign: Iron cross 2nd class ribbon with a black cat on the center red section
Project X Award: This award signifies that the user completed the Project X Campaign to build and experimental vehicle (2005).
Ribbon : Ribbon given to all of those that finish their builds.
Sands of Israel: This award signifies this person completed the
The Ardennes Offensive Ribbon: This award signifies that this person participated in commemorating the offensive/counter-offensive strike in the Ardennes Forest, December 16, 1944 to January 28, 1945